The Ronald Reagan administration (First Lady Nancy Reagan) established the statement “Just say no” in the beginning of the 1980. It was used as an attempt to discourage young people from using drugs. A truly worthy cause however I am referring to something completely different. My reference to this statement suggests that it is possible to say “no” in our daily experiences. Whatever the situation, interaction with others or even with ourselves; you can say “no”. You are the prime number in the equation. What happens in any given moment is reflective of your actions.
Your first reaction may be to say “I have no problem saying “no” when such a reaction is necessary.” We should use an example now to illustrate: You have a job that brings you fulfillment. The one problem however is that the management level of this business is somewhat weak and shaky. You have experienced stressful situations at work that were caused by improper decisions from the management.
Just say no and Experience Presence
You have attempted to speak to different individuals in the company management. It was not possible to approach these individuals in such a manner whereby the flails in the management decisions could be reconsidered and then changed. This is a situation that many of you may be familiar with in one form or another.
Now let’s look at how this ties in with “just saying no”. The problem concerning improper management procedures is an ongoing situation that you must confront daily. You feel isolated from others due to the lack of cooperation from management. This adds more stress to your general composure.
Then one day; during a reflective moment, you perceive that there has been truly only one factor that has caused the provocations at work. This is because you (for whatever reason) are timid or perhaps even fearful of confrontations resulting from situations, co-workers or management. There are many things that could cause your insecurity with such confrontations.
A person may have had traumatic experiences as a child. Or was perhaps abused or neglected as a child. There are many existence experiences that could be responsible for such behavior. It is important for this conversation that we understand how a simply word “no” can affect our psychological and even physical state of being.
Just say no and Experience Stillness
There are many people who are not actually able to “just say no” when put in a situation where you feel strongly against something (you know that it is not good). Many people find a personalized method or behavior to muddle through such a confrontation. This basically means that most people actually can’t “just say no” to a given situation or person. So an individual does the presumed next best thing. He or she avoids the confrontation as best possible or the person concedes to the situation or person by agreeing with it or them. The scenario is never the same for two people.
The results of not saying “no” can be devastating. I was astonished at the release of inward psychological pressure that dissolved as I feel into the abyss dimension of awareness. I became aware of the difficulties I had unknowingly caused myself. This has been happening repeatedly for years. I was actually responsible for the suffering that I have been experiencing so long. All because I was not aware enough to just say no.
Saying no without Fear
Mind generated fear is usually present in such situation. Furthermore fear, conditioning and ego can cause mental and physical blockades. This restricts and or completely stops any access to the actual moment at hand. This has been the case for me. This fear syndrome has chained me to a conditional behavior that causes much torment in my human existence. When you do become aware of what is actually happening it can be so uplifting… yes truly enlightening.
This was a valuable signpost for me. I was able to feel first-hand how I had become my own worst tormentor in daily experiences. This realization has given me further knowledge into the peaceful realm of stillness. There is joy to be found in knowing that this dimension is always there for each of us.