The housefly is a very common insect. It came into existence around the beginning of the Cenozoic era sixty-five million years ago. The Cenozoic era is the third documented era of the planet. This is supposedly the beginning of modern mammals; including humankind. I was delighted to read this information. The correlation between humankind behavior, the horsefly and the Cenozoic era coincides nicely. Let us begin this topic discussion at the most obvious place; the beginning.
I was relaxing outside in the sun the other day. It was a beautiful day. I decided to mediate. I found myself in a tranquil state of presence after a short period; at least this is what I had “thought”. Suddenly a faint noise could be heard. This sound was the approach of the well known housefly. I felt something in my brain actually being activated. The brain initiated a red alert. I (what I thought was my true self) said to ignore the housefly. The approaching housefly was deliberately there because it wanted to bother me. This voice (what was first interpreted as the “self”) in my head reminded me that I was in a meditation phase of self-awareness. This phase of conscious or unconscious thinking will prove to be relevant later in this article; please make a mental note of it.
I remained still and devoted to “being” in a state of awareness that I had “insisted” I had reached through meditating. I could hear that the fly was coming closer and closer. Isn’t it strange that a low buzzing sound produced by the flapping of a flies wing can sound like claps of thunder on occasion? This was how my brain was interpreting the approaching fly. The brain / thought activities increased many times over within one moment. The voice in my head once again reminded me that I was there in that moment to meditate and not to be concerned with a common housefly.
This is when I became truly aware that this “voice” could not be the true self. This “voice of I” was accusing the housefly of every possible act of mischief and defiance. How was this done by the voice? It did this by insisting that my practice of meditation was the dominating factor in that moment. The true conscious self would never consider, judge or decide over anything, needless to say condemning the actions of a common housefly.
That was when I hear something else inside my head. It was more like a sensation of something that was not really there. It dawned on me that I was not really meditating. I was not really “aware”. I was simply going through the motions. This behavior might be compared to reading a script that has been prepared in advance. It was as if everything that was happening was rehearsed. The housefly landed next to where I was resting. I looked at it. I can imagine that it was looking at me. Then I mentally asked the fly a question. “Why are you interrupting my meditation?” “Why are you bothering me?” I thought as I looked at the housefly. It remained where it had landed. The thoughts in my head insisted that I do everything possible to chase the fly away. I waved my hands in the air. The fly flew off around the corner of the building.
I could hear the voice in my head saying that chasing the fly away was a great success. Now it would be possible for me to meditate without being disturbed; the voice told me. (The true self would never suggest such a thing.) I tried to relaxed. I focused on “not” thinking. This is in itself next to impossible. How can you “not” think; none the less concentrate on “not” thinking. There it was again…a distance buzzing. The fly was returning. The voice in my head started the repetitive thought pattern in the same sequence. “Doesn’t this housefly know that I am meditating?” “Why is it bothering me now?” “There is no way that I can meditate with a fly buzzing around.” The mind thoughts went on and on. I could continue writing more about this experience but it is not my intention to bore you with details. Significant may be what we can summarize from this experience:
– We can easily be confused and misguided by a sense of what “I” represents in our activities. The feeling of “I” as the self is actually not always the true “self” or oneness. It is easy to be fooled by the conditioned behavior and ego; especially during the first stages of conscious awakening to the true self.
– a guideline for unity with life energy totality is understand that controlling another person, thing or situation in any manner has nothing to do with being aware or being spiritual.
– The insistence that everything must happen in the manner we decide is a sure sign of separation from the self.
– It is never about “doing” anything; whether meditating, being aware or walking in the park. To “be” what you are “doing” holds the potential for a substantial and long-lasting shift from the state of mind / thought consciousness to universal intelligence. This also nurtures a true melting of mind consciousness with life energy; thus canceling out illusions of separation.
It is never about a housefly or anything else in any situation. It is always and only about you. It is about your state of untarnished awareness. This awareness is not about what you are doing. It is about what you are “not” doing.